Second Thoughts
by M.Koffe
Summary: Jason has been having second thoughts about how he feels about Dick.


The term boyfriend was to binding. To binding for Jason. People that use the term want one person and only that person for the time. Commitment. Jason was afraid of commitment. Okay, maybe not afraid, but what other was there to describe it? He hated it when Dick called him his boyfriend, because he could not say it back without some sort of regret bubbling in the back of his throat.

What did it mean to love one person, and only one person? Jason was sure that Dick looked at him that way. He did not want to be with anyone else, but Jason always had second thoughts.

Not because he did not want love Dick, but because he had been hurt both physically and emotionally by the people he had loved. He was never afraid that Dick would hurt him. No, not Dick. Dick was to optimistic, to loving and caring that he would never hurt anyone. What Jason was afraid of, was that he would be the one hurting Dick. He had the rage, the blinding rage that could bring down a lion and because he knew he was dangerous. He was fearful of binding his relationship with Dick by the word boyfriend.

Jason stepped out of the bathroom and turned on the kitchen sink to wash his hands when he overheard Dick talking on his cell phone. Wally was probably on the other side of the line, or Tim. Those were the two people Dick chatted with the most. As Jason shut off the sink he heard Dick call him, "...my boyfriend..."

Jason wanted to walk over to him, snatch the phone out of his hand and crush it. Taking in a deep breath to calm himself, he swung himself on top of the counter by the sink. He was gong to wait for Dick to finish his phone call before confronting him.

"Kay, bye." Dick hung up the phone, and peeked into the kitchen to see Jason. "Jay?" He was caught off guard by Jason's serious glare.

Jason growled, he hopped off the counter and stormed into their bedroom. Locking the door from the inside.

Dick pursued him, and knocked on the door a few times, "Jason? You know I can pick the lock, right? What's wrong?"

At first Jason wanted to confront Dick about the problem, but every time he gazed into the acrobat's eyes – even for a few seconds, he felt himself melt. He put his back against the door, feeling the vibrations of Dick's knocks.

"Go away!" Jason shouted into the door. "Nothing is wrong!"

"That's crap, Jaybird." Dick placed his palm against the door. "Now tell me, what happened?"  
"I just need to be alone." his voice was quieter than when he first spoke through the door, but loud enough to be heard from the other side.

"Fine." Dick sounded defeated, a tone Jason never liked to hear from the other man.

The way the word boyfriend so easily rolled out of Dick's lips both enraged and soothed Jason. Enraged him because he did not want anyone to trust him so much that they were leaving themselves vulnerable to be slashed and possible killed by him. Then again, it was soothing, soothing to know that there was someone out there that would completely disregard the fact that he could be a beast and disembowel anyone in second. Dick trusted him with his heart, trusted him not to break it and smash it. Dick did not care that in a split second Jason could go psychotic, because he knew that he would never hurt him.

Dick loved Jason enough to call him his boyfriend.

Jason loved Dick too...but...

Jason's thoughts dashed madly around his head for hours and he ended up giving himself a headache and fell asleep until it was time to go on patrol. Still not unlocking the door, Jason decided he had business he needed to take care of. He opened the window, and launched his a line.

"Jason?" Dick pounded on the door again. He was worried, Jason had not left the room since that afternoon and it was nearly eleven at night. "Jason, I'm picking the lock because we need to talk if there is something bothering you."

With his breath tight in his chest, Dick opened the door and was surprised to find it was rather breezy. Then he realized the window was open and Jason was gone. In the corner of the room was Jason's helmet, and in the other corner was his shoes. He had probably left in a hurry, so much of in a hurry that he had forgotten to put his shoes on.

Nightwing kept on trying to contact Jason through his cell phone, but Jason was busy and did not want to respond. He was not busy hunting his criminals, in fact he had only left for an hour to go to Walmart and buy a few things. When he returned, Dick was no longer home and the bedroom door was open. Once he finished setting up the bedroom, he climbed out of the window and made his way to the top of the building to wait for Nightwing.

He dangled his bare feet over the edge of the building, a smile twitched on his lips as he lit a cigarette and pressed it against his mouth. Then just as he anticipated, Nightwing swung in. Nightwing's suit was a cut up, and he was breathing heavy. It was a rough night.

"Hey there, beautiful." Jason took a long drag from his cigarette as Dick sat down beside him with a heavy sigh. He eyed Dick, making sure that he was not hurt to bad. To his relief none of the cuts were deep, and he was not bleeding too bad. Just a few droplets here and there.

"Why didn't you answer my calls?" Dick peeled off his mask and tilted his head to look at Jason directly. Jason noticed the worry in Dick's eyes.

Not answering Nightwing's question, Jason shrugged his jacket off and draped it around Dick's shoulders, "Keep that on, don't want other people walking around the apartment to see your costume." Jason put out his cigarette on the concrete edge of the building, and swooped Dick up in his arms.

Surprised, Dick wrapped his arms around Jason's neck, "Jay... what are you doing?" when Jason did not answer immediately Dick continued to speak. "We can just get into the apartment through the window, we don't have to go down through the halls and stuff."

"Nah." Jason refused, and explained. "I want everyone who passes us on the way to our apartment to know that you belong to me."

Dick did not know what to say, but tried anyway, "Are you drunk?"

Jason laughed, "No, I just..." he paused to open the door from the top of the building that acts as an entry way from the roof to the floors below. "I've been thinking ever since I put myself in time out and locked myself in our bedroom."

"Thinking about what?" Dick rested his head on the base of Jason's shoulder and watched as woman passed by them.

"Just second thoughts," Jason was so vague about what he was up too. "About how I've been about how I view or relationship, and how treat you."

"Second thoughts?" Dick's throat felt dry. "What do you mean second thoughts?"

Picking up on the tension in Dick's voice, Jason offered a little more useless information, "Has it been so long since you've been in school that you have forgotten what the term 'second thoughts' mean?" he placed a quick kiss on the top of Dick's head. "Don't be stupid, Dickie-bird."

"I'm not being stupid," Dick protested, patting Jason on the chest. "You're just confusing sometimes, I don't always understand the way you work."

Not putting Dick down, Jason opened the door and continued carry him into their apartment. He stopped in front of their bedroom door and decided to answer Dick's question, "So, I've been having second thoughts..."

"Yeah?"

"We've been dating for exactly one month."

Dick had to think for a second, had they? Had they been dating for one month, one entire month? Then he realized that Jason was right, and they had been dating a month.

"Yes we have." Dick confirmed, he was a little embarrassed that he had forgotten, but he did not think that Jason would care if he kept track of their anniversary.

"So, I've been thinking and listening to how you've been talking about me." Jason continued. "You've been addressing me as your boyfriend, and I've heard this on multiple occasions."

"Yeah?"  
"Dick," Jason stared at the door and then back down at the acrobat in his arms. He was going to try and keep his voice steady, but such an action was difficult when there was an attractive man in his arms. "I...I didn't want – want you to...ummm... call me that because, I-I was afraid that I would hurt you. But, but since you have – have enough trust in me. That I," Jason's breath caught in his throat and for a few moments he forgot how to breathe because this was all just to much for him to admit at one time. He knew he had too tell Dick though, and maybe after he said it this first time he'd get easier for him to say it. A smile was on Dick's face, and his eyes were bright with anticipation. The look on his face gave Jason the courage to continue, "I love you, and I want you to be my boyfriend too." he admitted.

"Awwww," Dick rubbed his head against Jason's neck, "Jay, I love you too."

Jason opened the door, "I know how you like cheesy romantic shit. So, I set up a fire hazard."

"Whoa..." Dick stared wide eyed at the new arrangement.

The lights were shut off, and the only things that lit the room were candles. There had to be at least fifty of the candles lightly flickering in the darkness of the bedroom.

"Do you know the strange look the cashier gave me when I payed for all these candles?" Jason laid Dick down their bed, "The embarrassment I go through to make you happy." He buried his face into Dick's neck, biting at his Nightwing costume. "If you don't take this damn thing off I'm gonna peel it off with my teeth."

"I wouldn't mind that..." Dick's sentence turned into a moan as Jason's lips began their escapade across his face. Dick twisted his arms back, tugging the zipper down until he slid out of its hold. Jason put his arms around Dick's chest, holding him tightly as his tongue pressed into his mouth.

Jason's fingers pulled at Dick's waistband, his nails purposefully stabbing him. After breaking their kiss, he moved down and pulled Dick's boxers off with his teeth. He put his mouth inches above Dick's penis, where began to kiss at the marks his finger nails had left. He bit and sucked on the small claw like marks, turning them into lovely bruises.

Dick's penis jerked up against Jason's neck and chest, almost begging for attention. Smiling, Jason stretched his hands over Dick's bare chest before gripping his cock. Roughly, he began to pump at it, and the sudden shock caused Dick to cry out. He bucked his hips up, his breath was heavy as he let out a softer moan.

"Louder, Dick." Jason demanded as his hand sped up. "You know I love the sound of your voice."

"Oh, Jason!" he half screamed, it was not loud enough to get the neighbors to call the cops, but loud enough for them to know what was going on in the apartment next door. "Jaaay!"

"Good." Jason grabbed Dick's legs and placed them over his broad shoulders, "I believe you deserve a reward."

Jason playfully licked at the slit of Dick's cock. Dick's body shuttered into moan, arching his back. After placing a kiss on the head of the sensitive organ, Jason took it into his mouth. His teeth grazed against the flushed skin as his tongue stretched against the underside.

"Jay..." Dick panted, reaching out to tangle his fingers in the other man's thick hair.

Teasingly, Jason pulled back, licking up at the liquid that dramatically leaked from the slit. He played with opening for a bit, not wanting to give up the sight of Dick. The way the dim, flickering light from all the candles danced across Dick's perfect abs, and outlined his gorgeous face was a sight that Jason never wanted to forget.

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**Hope this was enjoyable. :) **

**Thank you for reading.**


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